Also known as "DMBYLF, LIBYIS!"
"I am an All Powerful Wizard possessing Untold Eldritch Capabilities and Knowledge That Which Man Was Not Meant to Comprehend! Naturally I am exceptionally busy dealing with Conundrums and Catastrophes beyond any Mortal Ken, but sadly, these mundane realms are full of irritations, intimations, and irrigations. For these, I have amassed a coterie of highly trained and capable agents, enacting my will in all manner of courts and caverns far, far from my lofty, yet exceedingly comfortable, Wizard Tower."
"Unfortunately, my lofty perceptiveness has failed to account for a minor assortment of quibbles, foibles and dribbles, simply due to how boring and simplistic they all are. Luckily, I have my misKellaneous array of bound demons, familiars, sentient spells, sundry intelligent magical items, and utterly useless apprentices to sort out things in the Kingdom of Whatever. So... what are you all waiting for? Get out of here, you filthy mongrels! Do My Bidding You Loathsome Fiends, Lest I Blast You Into Smithereens!"
