What The Fuck Did I Do Last Night?

Roll each of the following questions in order, but only when the character has a moment to take stock of the situation. Assuming you failed a Constitution roll to end up in this situation, make a note of the value. Some of entries have two options (odds is left, evens right).

Where am I?
  1. In a gutter
  2. A closet
  3. On someone else's floor
  4. In the lockup
  5. Still at the bar
  6. Rolled up in a rug
  7. In a sewer
  8. A gibbet / the stocks
  9. In the dark
  10. In a wizards tower
  11. In a nice bed
  12. In a palatial suite
  13. Falling down a large hole
  14. The top of a building
  15. The cupboards of a busy tavern
  16. In a sack, carried
  17. A wagon of vegetables heading out of town
  18. The middle of the street
  19. On a stage, about to give a speech
  20. An operating theatre

What am I wearing?
  1. No pants
  2. One shoe, not yours
  3. Socks bearing strange formulae
  4. A suspiciously damp shirt
  5. A beard
  6. Painful bruises everywhere
  7. Lash marks
  8. A helmet, horns optional
  9. Blood, probably not yours
  10. Wizard hat, nothing else
  11. The tanned hide of a bear
  12. A crown
  13. A sword in an ill-fitting sheathe
  14. 1d20 copper coins in odd and uncomfortable places. Very uncomfortable, in some cases
  15. Dapper suit
  16. Peanut butter
  17. Children's clothes
  18. Ballet slippers
  19. Mascot costume
  20. Toga

Who am I with?
  1. Two clowns
  2. A gorilla / a sleeping tiger
  3. A pile of spiders / a snake
  4. An attractive woman/man
  5. Your lawyer
  6. Someone's wife/husband
  7. A rival adventurer
  8. A mercenary/bandit (hard to tell)
  9. Four dwarves in various states of inebriation
  10. A half-elf with a frightening mohawk
  11. A notably rich merchant
  12. An heir/ess with a contagious disease
  13. A different party member
  14. A talking skull/book
  15. A hidden voice
  16. Three slaves, chains broken
  17. An apprentice wizard, in the middle of casting a spell
  18. An inebriated paladin
  19. Someone who looks suspiciously like you
  20. Nobody. You can’t find anyone at all…

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