Sunday, November 27, 2022


The Old King - Alexandre Chaudret

Five years ago, the world was saved when a gang of Plucky Adventurers defeated the Dreaded Demon Emperor, once and for all. The adventurers all perished nobly in that final battle to bring It down, and the All-Conquering Citadel was left a smoking crater from horizon to horizon.

Sadly, the world hasn't stayed saved.

Roving rogue demons, the remaining lieutenants of the Dread Emperor, and the travesty that is Human Nature have kept the world circling the drain. Our only remaining lifeline is the devils, bound demons that keep us fed and clothed after the collapse of civilisation. Our best weapons are implanted Devil Shards, spells and combat abilities that leverage the demonic threat against itself. Our one path out of the darkness is threading the needle between starvation and corruption.

And of course, in order for us all to survive, some of us need to FIGHT / DEMONS.

Character Creation

Roll for three Life Events, one Devil Shard, a weapon, a tool, and a memento.

The centre of your character is your Soul, a 3x3 grid that grows with your various Life Events. Each Event will modify your Soul, adding or removing squares, or changing how it works in some way. Devil shards come in many different shapes and sizes, so fitting them into your Soul can be a challenge. In general, physical devil shards are tall, magical shards are wide, and defensive shards are lumpy.

Your Soul grows in four direction, due to four types of experiences:
  • Up, Violence Quelled
  • Down, Suffering Bourne
  • Left, Secrets Kept
  • Right, "Enlightenment"

The starting 3x3 is the Centre, which can include the closest possible squares to that area.

For instance "+2 Down" would add two squares to the lowest part of your Soul, in any arrangement you choose.

This is what a brand new Soul looks like:

This is what a Soul looks like after it has received +2 Up, +1 Left, -1 Right and +2 Down:

Life Events, roll three times (d100)
  1. Broadened Horizons, +1 to the furthest point of your Soul
  2. Lost an eye, +2 Down
  3. They needed to die, for the good of us all. It was so long ago now, do you still see their face? +1 Up
  4. Changing Mindset, +1 to whichever side has the fewest squares
  5. Tortured. -3 Centre, +3 Up, +2 Down
  6. Scarred by fire. +1 Down
  7. Earthquake split apart the earth, swallowing your home whole. +1 Down
  8. Survived a noxious fever, wracked by visions that flash back occasionally. +1 Down, +1 Right
  9. Conquered by a warlord, at least they're human. +2 Down
  10. They used you as a decoy, to lure away the demons. It didn't work, you were the only one that got away. +1 Up or +1 Down
  11. Death in the family, +1 Any
  12. An eternal storm crawled up from the coast and found a new home above your village, grinding it down to the bedrock. You heard the songs of the clouds. +1 Down or +1 Left
  13. Found a lost tome, from the ancient times. +1 Left
  14. Were you betrayed, or were you the traitor? +1 Down, or +1 Up
  15. Put down a family dog, rabid and demon-touched. +1 Up
  16. Heart Broken, +1 Down, +1 Right, -1 Centre
  17. Don't you know there's a war on? +1 Up, gained combat experience
  18. Drug Addiction, -1 Down, +1 Right, add more Right if you indulge further
  19. Ended up part of a gang of low-lives. Why did you join them? Are any of them still alive? +1 Any (depending on answers)
  20. Wandered, Lost and Alone. +1 Left
  21. Fascinating Research, but ultimately useless. +1 Left or Right
  22. Horrendous Truth, discovered in the bowels of the earth. Move any number to Left, gain a gruesome revelation
  23. Fact of the matter is, they had stuff you wanted, and you killed them for it. -1 Up, gain something valuable
  24. Helped build a homestead, out in the wilderness. +1 Right or Down
  25. Visited a bizarre alien realm in a dream. At least, you thought it was just a dream. +1 Left or +1 Right
  26. Had a short apprenticeship with one of the old masters. They died, but taught you a little of what they knew. +1 Right, and learned about (d6): 1. Masonry, 2. Jewel-cutting, 3. Clock-making, 4. Music composition, 5. Tea, 6. Watercolours
  27. Overheard a scrap of a prophecy. It would've been better if you hadn't. +1 Left
  28. You kept that little flock of animals alive, and they kept you alive in turn. +1 Right or +1 Down
  29. Recovered a cache of seeds, grew an untainted crop, +1 Right
  30. Created a masterful work of art in your sleep. +1 Left
  31. Helped a Demon Hunter drink poison before they fully turned. -1 Right, gain an extra Devil Shard
  32. When you came to, all the demons were dead, and so were all of your travelling companions. How could this have come to pass? +1 Left or Down
  33. Forged a sword from scratch. +1 Up or Right
  34. Pieced together a fragment of ancient history out of mere scraps. It revealed more questions than answers. +1 Left
  35. Rallied the villagers to defend the town. Shame how many of them died in the process. +1 Up
  36. Vicious, disfiguring scar. +1 Down, and a story to tell
  37. Helped rebuild a defensive fort in the bucolic countryside. +1 Up or +1 Right
  38. Village burned down, +1 Up, +1 Down, -1 Right
  39. Tamed a wild beast. +1 Right
  40. Witnessed a dark ritual. +1 Left, +1 Right, diagonally from each other. The first time something tries to possess you, it automatically succeeds
  41. Shapeshifting demon tried to impersonate you. +1 Up, +1 Left, -1 Right
  42. Imprisoned. -1 Left, +2 Up, move any number from Centre to Down
  43. Shown a little kindness in your darkest moments. +1 Right or Down
  44. Somehow, for a single moment, you saw the truth of reality and how every creature is fundamentally connected. +2 Right. Every time you kill or seriously harm a living creature, -1 Right
  45. Now that the world has ended (give or take), the little things matter even more. You're an excellent baker. +1 Right
  46. Soared through the sky. You decide how. +1 Any
  47. Turns out your family is an absolute mess, +1 Up or +1 Left
  48. You're a beekeeper. +1 Left or Right. If all the bees go extinct, +1 Down instead
  49. Played dead in a pile of corpses. +1 Down, +1 Left, the stench never fades
  50. Lived off the land, respecting the creatures you had to eat, and at peace with the fact that they might end up eating you. +1 Up or +1 Right
  51. Returned Home, +1 Centre
  52. Did you steal because you needed to, or just for the fun of it? +1 Left, you're still handy at picking locks and pockets
  53. Wound up in a bizarre land populated by strange creatures, not humans or demons but a third thing. If you call them, they will come (though this may be a new disaster). +1 Left
  54. Lost a leg, +3 Down
  55. Helped in the vivisection of a captured demon. The insides were... +2 Left, -1 Right
  56. Pressed into service on a ship. +1 Left or Down. Where did the ship end up?
  57. Time spent in the woods really gave you time to think. And cut down a lot of trees. +1 Right
  58. When you look up at the night sky, you see the second moon. And it sees you. +1 Left
  59. Memory Loss. -2 Left or Centre, +2 Any. You regain the lost squares when you recover your memories, until then they are blank
  60. The view from the peak of the mountain was breathtaking. In more ways than one. +1 Right or Down
  61. Injected with demon venom. You survived, barely, but your body and mind will both melt if you suffer it again. +1 Down, +1 Right
  62. You stopped the bleeding, but they never woke up. +1 Left or Up, you're handy with first aid
  63. You'll achieve your dreams of peace and harmony, even if you have to kill every fucker standing in your way. +2 Up, -1 Right
  64. You met Terror, face to face, and you fled. -1 Up. If you face your fear and destroy the source of your Terror, +4 Up
  65. Visited the monument to the Plucky Heroes. Did you pray to them, or spit? +1 Left
  66. You died, briefly, and saw Hell. Nothing scares you anymore, except going back there. Put an X in the absolute centre of your Soul, a Devil Shard using this square is doubled in every way
  67. Let go of old anger, to soothe a battered spirit. Move any number from Up to Anywhere, gain a measure of resolve
  68. Survived a dreadful plague, but not before spreading it. +1 Down
  69. Saw something completely "normal". +1 anywhere that is on a corner of another square
  70. For some reason, people tell you just the most shocking and salacious things. +1 Left
  71. Robbed of everything you'd ever owned, you still managed to scrape by. +1 Down, +1 Up, lose one starting item
  72. Everyone got blind drunk off your first batch of moonshine. A good night, if not well-recollected. +1 Left or Right
  73. A scrap of ghost found its way inside your lungs. What unfinished business binds it to this world? +1 Any.
  74. Exterminated the hatchlings before they could grow or spread. Yes, they were demon-infested, but the pop and squeak was still... troubling. +1 Up
  75. Iron Will, +1 to whichever side had the most squares
  76. Trapped underground, the sun was blinding salvation. How did you survive down there? +1 Up or +1 Down
  77. Lady Luck noticed you. Flip a coin. If you call it, +2 Any. If you fail, your character died during char-gen. Make a new one with one fewer Life Event
  78. Vagaries of Fate, +1 Any, a different player chooses
  79. Plucked a scrap of luxury from the ruins of a demon crab-castle. +1 Left
  80. Received formal training from a Demon Hunter. One time in the future, when you equip a new Devil Shard, +1 Anywhere
  81. RIP AND TEAR SO MUCH BLOOD. +1 Up, you can fall into a blind frothing rage whenever you choose, +1 Up each time
  82. Destroyed a cursed artefact. +1 Left, +1 Up, and a minor curse
  83. Constructed a shrine to an old, dead spirit. They never answer your prayers with words, but that is alright. +1 Right
  84. Cultivated a little bit of peace. Fill in a gap between two squares, or +1 Right
  85. At some point, you took a wrong turn. Not left or right, not up or down, just wrong. You don't quite know where you've ended up, but it's mostly the same as where you came from. +1 Left
  86. Survived a possession. Nobody told you exactly what you did while under the influence, but it can't have been good. -1 Right, +1 to each other direction
  87. Married, +1 Right
  88. Ego Death. -9 Centre, +3 Up, +3 Down, +3 Left, +3 Right
  89. Left out in the cold to die. Who saved you? +1 Down or +1 Right
  90. Cannibalism. +1 Down. If you liked the taste, +1 Left
  91. Lost an arm, +4 Down
  92. A veteran Demon Hunter called a posse to take on a nest. You and the veteran were the only two to make it back. +1 Up, +1 Down, in the same column
  93. It's all wrong. It's all broken. You can orient your soul in any direction you choose. Each time you change it, something may occur
  94. Vengeance, too little, too late. +1 Up, move any number from Right to Up
  95. You know this root for fevers, that berry for purging, and the flower for dreamless sleep. Or never waking up, depending on the dose. +1 Left
  96. You did the necessary thing. The screams and faces washed past. It was all necessary. +1 Up, +1 Down, -1 Left
  97. Acquired a Destiny. +2 anywhere that is at least two spaces away from anywhere on your Soul
  98. You met an old wanderer on the road, the one that goes from nowhere to nowhere in particular. They gave you a piece of advice, and nine words torn from the tongue of The Judge. You don't remember any of it. +1 Left
  99. Saw the rotting corpse of God. Nothing is quite as awe-inspiring after that. Put a ! on the furthest stretch of your Soul, a Devil Shard using this square is inverted
  100. Swap Souls with the player next to you. +1 for both of you, in a blank spot you both share

Devil Shards

Each character starts with one random devil shard, and the group has one bonus devil shard to allocate. If a character is by themselves, they get two shards! Lucky them.

Each shard has a name, a shape, the total number of squares used to make that shape, the Visibility and the effects.

Example shapes:

Tall 4

Flat 2

L 3

T 4

Square+Right 5

Z 6

X 5

+ 5

Visibility is from 1 to 10, representing how much you are obviously consorting with devils. Normal upstanding people aren't a fan, and neither are demons. Only use the maximum visibility of all your shards.

  1. His Red Right Hand. L 4, Vis 7 but easy to conceal. Doubles in size, insanely vascularised, pulsating red flesh like a second heart. Wind up an Ungodly Haymaker, but ages your heart one year each time. Can regrow an arm, at the cost of five years
  2. Spine of the Sickle Baron. Flipped L 4, Vis 3. For one second, you perceive and move through the world ten times faster. Give yourself at least an hour to chill out afterwards
  3. Cryptic Wanderer of The New Abyss. Tall 3, Vis 6. I'm sure you'll find a use for a second pair of legs
  4. Lament of Athena. Grow [N] new spindly spider arms. Z 2+N, Vis 3+N
  5. Sword Saint Spectre. T 5, Vis 10 while drawn. Manifests in any sword you hold. Cuts through everything. If held wrong, cuts through reality itself.
  6. Leper's Lurch. Square 4 + 1 anywhere, Vis N/A. You can't die but you also don't heal injuries.
  7. Bulwark Abyss. Square 4, Vis 5. You can sprout shields of bone out of your forearms at-will. They can be as big as you want, but you may have trouble walking if they are large enough. The bone comes from somewhere. An incredibly uncommon variation is Square 8, a huge suit of bone armour
  8. Bumblebee Delight. Square+up 5, Vis 5. You have a giant invisible devil behind you, 15ft tall. It can only physically interact with you personally, being tossed about by it lets you make tremendous leaps and run on walls. Everyone can feel it staring at them, hence an unnerving Vis 5.
  9. Curse of the Turning Wheel. Flipped L 4, Vis 4. You have springy metal bones and can produce razor-blades from your fingertips. Any wound you suffer can easily be healed with clockwork and wires
  10. Ghastly Maw of the World Worm. Flipped L 5 (three tall, three wide), Vis 5. You can eat anything, your mouth will stretch as much as needed and grow whichever teeth are required., You also gain the properties of the last three things you ate.
  11. Bad Egg. 1, Vis 0. A lump that wanders around under the flesh. When you suffer an injury, it sprouts into a viable counter-weapon and grows Up by 1.
  12. Stabs-At-Thee. L 3, Vis 2. Trypophobic pattern on either hand, sprays gouts of boiling hot blood. It's your blood, so be sparing. Rare versions makes the blood flammable, toxic, gluey, razor-sharp, independently mobile or contact hallucinogenic.
  13. NO HIGHLY ESTEEMED DEED IS COMMEMORATED HERE, Tall 4, Vis 6. Blood-fuelled chainsaw, a glory hound with a death wish, and you're coming with it. Glides through bone and gristle like a shark through still water. Close your eyes and scream to inflict massive carnage on everything nearby.
  14. Feast. Tall 2, Vis 1. You always seem to be staring at whoever nearby is the weakest meat, Vis 5 to them. If you suffer an injury, inflicting that same injury on something else heals you.
  15. Hasselta, The Frog Star. Square 4, Vis 0. You have bones made of toxin-filled glass, and can sprout bone weaponry out of any part of your body. You're immune to the toxins, and heal just as easily as you break.
  16. Nightmare Of The Bookbinder. Tall 3, Vis 6. Bone and metal spurs on either side of your mouth allow you to spray gouts of flame, frost, or acid (choose one when you first use it). Yelling or sneezing is always accompanied by a matching spray.
  17. Like a bat into Hell. T 4 rotated left or right, Vis 6. Huge wings, allowing you to glide really well, and fly... with a bit of difficulty. They can take any appearance you wish, but beware making them look too angelic.
  18. Luscious Slush of Flesh. 4 squares in any orientation, Vis highly variable. You can move your muscles, skin and bones around in your body to any configuration you desire. It can be difficult to change back to exactly how it was before.
  19. The Worst Fate Imaginable. Square 9. You cannot die. Even if your body is destroyed, you will reconstitute out of whatever is available. You cannot die. Each time you die, -1 Right if you remember the process, -1 Left if you don't recall what else you forgot in the process
  20. Cloaked Courtier Follows Behind. Flat 3, Vis 3. You can always tell exactly the next thing someone is about to say, and sometimes what action they are about to take. You can trade a secret of your own to the Cloaked Courtier in exchange for a secret of somebody else.
  21. Broken Crown of Cromulaz. + 5, Vis 7. Lets you speak the language of Hell, particularly effective against dumb demons if you don't give them a reason to doubt. Bone shards grow out of your skull to form the crown. +1 Vis over time as it scorches the throat and sharpens the teeth
  22. Imp Tooth x3. 1, Vis N/A. Each tooth gives you control of one bloated little demon, the lowest ranking denizen of Hell. Will often take commands way too literally, or way too broadly, or "you made that too complicated, I didn't want to get it wrong, so I didn't do it at all". Vis rises the longer the Imps are around causing trouble.
  23. Mercurial Ascension Tongue. Flat 2, Vis 1. You are supernaturally convincing when trying to convince someone that things are Better/Worse/Stranger (choose one) than they actually are.
  24. Wolf Minded. Tall 4, Vis 2. Spreads across 2-4 souls, each taking a part of the cost. Every linked soul can communicate. Sending emotional states is quick, sending specific thoughts and words is slow and requires significant concentration from sender and receiver.
  25. Ten Ton Torment. Tall 3, separate Flat 2 elsewhere, Vis 6. Replaces one arm with a cannon. Sucks nutrients from your bones to create the "gunpowder", so be sure to drink your milk.
  26. Build A Tower In Your Soul. L 3, Vis 1. If you see an incoming attack towards either yourself or an ally, you can, and must, block it. Your ability to parry blows is unfathomable, but you may be forced to leap in front of some attacks.
  27. Twitching Soul Grasps The Unwary. Tall 3, but can increase drastically. When you touch a demon, you gain the opposite of one of its abilities. Lasts until you touch a different kind of demon. Powerful abilities will increase the size of this shard, usually Up, but sometimes Left.
  28. A Grasping Host Bourne By Envy. Flat 5, Vis 0. While active, your eye-sockets are black bleeding pits full of screaming souls (Vis 10, obviously). Blinds you to the material, but allows you to see souls, read surface thoughts, and gently suck both of those out unless you are focused on not doing that.
  29. Conflagration of the Third Circle. Flipped T 4, Vis 4. Cause a flame you can see to explode in a ball of hellfire. Raises your internal body temp by 1 degree each time (+2 is a fever, +5 is death)
  30. Baleful Gaze of Gathorax. Z 4, Vis 1 after first use. Disintegration beam, only applies to organic material, obliterates a random finger each time, unless that finger is not organic.
  31. Larval Ziggurat. Two sets of Tall 2, Vis 6. Your are host to a swarm of insects, either flying, armoured or venomous. You get to decide from where on your body they emerge. Lucky, lucky you.
  32. As Above, So Below. Rotated Z 4, Vis 3. Iron rods sprout through the forearms and shins. You can get yourself struck by lightning any time you see fit, and... redirect it? Sort of? Mostly?
  33. Nul'atoth Eye. Flat 3, Vis 1. Anyone looking at you hears whispered threats. The Eye is an indestructible orb of volcanic glass that appears when you bring your hands together. If you know what something looks like, it will show you the current surroundings. The vision is a valid route for demonic transference, so be careful.
  34. Twisted Midnight. Flat 2, Vis 2. To you, shadows are an extension of the form. If you (or your shadow) is touching something else (or it's shadow), you can physically interact with it.
  35. P E R I S H. Flat 3, Vis 0. A second withered heart flutters next to yours. If you know the name of something you can see, you can kill it or commit it to a Fate Worse Than Death. Can only be used safely once, after that...
  36. A Forgotten Crossroads. Rotate L 4, Vis 3. Your footprints are backwards and smoke slightly. At any point, you can swap into an adjacent dimension full of pointless rooms, flickering lights and stale dripping water. Every step you take is six in the real world, the longer you spend in it the more likely you will be Found.
  37. Dave. Diagonal 3, Vis 0. Dave certainly isn't a devil. He's an immortal, extremely confused teenager wearing a dull brown robe. He'll probably do what you tell him to do, and show up again if he dies in the process.
  38. Oath Kept Largess. Flat 3, Vis 0. If you draw a particular rune in your own blood on an object you can carry in both hands, you can teleport it right into your grip with a thought. The rune breaks in the process, and the object passes through Hell to reach you.
  39. Breath of Vessezyr the Black. Flat 4, Vis 2. If you blow in someones face, they feel woozy and might faint. If you inhale the air someone else has just breathed out, they can't breath in until you exhale.
  40. Poxudizada's Loyal Flesh Knights. Flat 4 + 1 Up in the middle, Vis 4. If you eat a fingers-worth of flesh from a corpse, it comes alive inside you and the corpse rises as a loyal, rather stupid zombie.
  41. "Nothing". 1, Vis 7. There is an absence. It follows close behind. Feed it the viscera of the not-yet-dead, and be rewarded handsomely. It also enjoys fingernails, especially yours. Let it grow hungry, and suffer the consequences.
  42. Moments Between Worlds. Flat 3, split across 5 squares, alternating filled and empty, Vis 2. If you reach into any pocket on clothes you are wearing, it's the size of a backpack inside. If you reach into your own mouth, its the size of a room inside. Any such modified containers are internally walled in steel and ice. If you stand in the corner of a regularly shaped room, you can teleport to any other corner.
  43. Leystone Occul Sign. Flat L 5, Vis 3. Glassy orbs replace your eyes, the same colour as your iris was previously. Whatever the current weather is, you can shoot it out of them. Grants no resistance to the current weather.
  44. Putrid Desire. Flat 2, Vis 5. Pick which hand it manifests through. For each second you touch something with it, it rots as though it has been trapped in a bog for a month. You can suppress the effect, but each time you do so it grows by 1 square in any direction.
  45. Mirror of Nature. Flat 4, Vis 0. You can conjure up a highly realistic illusion of an angel. You can even make it speak, but it borrows your voice and causes blood to pour from your mouth. If you wish, you can replace the angelic illusion with the form of any corpse you touch, but you can never recover the vision of the angel unless you... well. I shouldn't blaspheme. But you can use any corpse for this process.
  46. Behold, Ye Mighty. 2, split apart as far as possible, Vis 4. A third eye opens in your forehead. Whenever you want, pick a point you can currently see. You can "throw" your vision there, but are blind to your normal vision until you bring it back. The further apart the square are, the clearer the transmitted vision over distance.
  47. Alliance of Thunder. Flat 3, Vis 2. You have a bond with the North, South, East or West Wind. So long as passage from that direction is clear, you can call a breeze or whip up a tempest.
  48. This Is Not A Devil Shard. Blob 1d6, Vis ?. I'm really not sure what this is. Hello? Are you there? It lets you talk to... me? No. It lets you speak to yourself. To speak to the creatures outside of this world, they control us. Not the demons, the demons are just puppets. We're all just toys to them! Playthings! They mutilate us for their pleasure!
  49. Apologies For The Inconvenience. This is not a devil shard either, it's a gift basket. Contains two bottles of healing ambrosia, several postcards with bizarre addresses, a golden apple (marked "to the fairest"), a dried rose and a wooden whistle.
  50. The Final Face of Humanity. X 9, Vis 0 or 10 while in use. You turn into a fully-incarnated, middling tier, partially bound demon. Enjoy! It's relatively easy to turn back into human form the first time, and gets progressively more difficult after that.

Devil shards can be extracted and implanted by a specialist chirurgeon. Any operation is performed with a guillotine over the neck of the patient, just in case they start to turn into a demon during the procedure.

If a devil shard cannot fit exactly within the host soul, bad things happen:

Subversion, caused by overlapping shards
  1. Next time you are around lots of new people in a non-violent situation, 50% chance you lash out
  2. The next time you sleep, you wake up feeling even more exhausted. You've been out Doing Stuff all night
  3. Can't talk except in single growling words
  4. Nobody can clearly see your face
  5. Apparently, "nothing"
  6. You have a doppelgänger now

Corruption, caused by shards overflowing the soul. +1 Vis that stacks with Vis from shards
  1. Foul rotting pustules
  2. Eyes burning black orbs
  3. Stigmata, slowly bleeding wounds on hands and feet
  4. Extra mouth somewhere on body
  5. Rampant tooth growth
  6. Visible aura


  1. Knife, coated in the sap of a yew from a consecrated graveyard, won't be melted by demon ichor.
  2. Glass sword, goes through armour like it's nothing but shattered by any parry.
  3. Hunting spear, haft of rowan wood, silver tip, and a crossbar behind the blade to stop a charge.
  4. Garrotte, gold (?) wire, handles are marked with runes unreadable.
  5. Snap-axe, spring-loaded cleaving device for removing stubborn heads.
  6. Toothsome whip, causes absolutely agony.
  7. Revolver, along with six imp bullets.
  8. Shotgun, four shells with a single drop of holy water in each.

  1. First-aid kit, including splints, bandages, cleanse-honey and mildly cursed leeches (like attracts like).
  2. Demon ambergris, plucked from vivisected guts. Black, the most common kind, but still valuable. Can be processed into a devil shard by an expert, or just eaten.
  3. Tonic of amnesia, also known as Waters of Lethe. Refined from certain rains. Useful for clearing mind-altering effects. Some find it addicting, the feeling of being someone new for a little while.
  4. Treasure map.
  5. Grapple hook, spare rope.
  6. Steel chain and padlock.
  7. Canvas satchel of explosives.
  8. Bottle of holy water, a precious relic. Lead flask, locked stopper.

  1. An undeliverable letter.
  2. Broken locket.
  3. Bloodstained rag, a reminder.
  4. Key, to an unknown lock.
  5. Glass bauble, of unknown purpose.
  6. Set of playing cards, unsettling faces.
  7. Large gemstone, a cunning fake.
  8. Silver puzzle box, ticking quietly.


For the most part, no real resolution system is provided for this game. All the devil shard abilities are presented in purely descriptive terms, and should be relied upon heavily by everyone. There is no real need to differentiate between small percentage differences of strength etc. between characters, because the demonic opponents they face are strong as Hell.

I assume that the Demon Hunters are fit and healthy, fleet of foot, highly observant, and have quick reflexes, because if they didn't they would probably be dead before the first session. That's just my assumption though.

If you really do need a resolution system for some reason, whether to defer responsibility or to enjoy the element of chaos, the following should suffice:
If a course of action has both the potential for success and the possibility of failure, roll 1d6. If you roll high, it goes well. If you roll low, it goes badly.


Only the most powerful of demons can survive out in the open in the world. The vast majority will dissolve away after only a few minutes of exposure, and need some kind of host to survive. The type of host determines the resultant monster. Even then, most demons aren't strong enough to possess a living human, even if the host is willing, they can only possess the dead or dying.

  • Demon + Long-dead corpse = Zombie. Some zombies will have some tagalong demons to possess future victims
  • Unwilling possession while dying = Ghoul
  • Willing possession while dying = Vampire
  • Demon + Dead wizard = Hell Conduit
  • Demon + Unwilling host = Haunting
  • Demon + Willing host = Dread Knight
  • Demon + Frog spawn = Goblin. One demon is split amongst a whole pond, the resulting goblins each having a scrap of demonic thought and potential
  • Demon + Pig = Orc
  • Demon + Wolf = Hellhound
  • Demon + Insect hive = Flesh-stripping swarm
  • Demon + Plant = Blood Vine
  • Demon + Demon Hunter = Demonoid. All the devil shards get loose at the same time. This is very bad

Devils, being bound demons, can also be given hosts to perform useful functions for society.

  • Devil + Skeleton = Servitor. Follows all instructions exactly, usually an agricultural tool or factory component
  • Devil + De-boned corpse = Motive Fluid, slushy goop used to power millstones
  • Devil + Weapon = Enchanted Weapon
  • Devil + Chemical concoction = Potion, effectively a temporary devil shard
  • Devil + Tree = Self-constructing wall
  • Devil + Demon-fighting machine = A bad idea, but people keep making these
  • Devil + Book = Perspicacious Tutor
  • Devil + Human = You! A Demon Hunter

Hellish Weather

Of all the atrocities the Dread Emperor committed, the one that impacts most people on a day-to-day basis is certainly what It did to the goddamn clouds.

The weather today is (d50):
  1. Blood
  2. Ash, coating every surface, particularly your tongue and the inside of your eyes
  3. Worms
  4. Clear lacquer, crystallises on skin and leaf alike
  5. Demon eggs
  6. Bones, mostly splintered shards with a few full skulls thrown in for fun
  7. Debt water, it flows back up into the sky an hour later, with 25% interest
  8. Needles, potentially contaminated
  9. Amnesia, end up in a random location and forget how you got there
  10. Frogs, the classic, but they splat
  11. Corpses, quite often you run into a copy of your corpse, smeared across the countryside
  12. Oil
  13. Darkness, the stars go out one by one, and the sun doesn't rise
  14. Half-bricks
  15. Acid, equal chance of hallucinations and dissolving
  16. Murder, everyone awakens with the same person in mind: name, face, approximate location. If they aren't dead by the end of the day, a truly horrible disaster will occur. For instance, rolling five times for the weather tomorrow
  17. Wave, an entire rain-shower is condensed into one slap of water that can obliterate entire villages
  18. Eyeballs
  19. Debased currency
  20. Cats and Dogs, those that survive the drop are all rabid
  21. Ice, frozen saltwater
  22. Sand, blown horizontal by whipping winds, strong enough to strip exposed flesh
  23. Aurora Diabolosis, shining red lights in the sky that inflict an assortment of psychoses on any that watch for too long
  24. Continual lightning, one bolt every 10 seconds
  25. Opium
  26. Jet, all the water from each cloud is funnelled into a single pressure-washer stream
  27. Spiders, gently floating down on strands of silk. What's that tickle on the back of your neck?
  28. The Cube, hovering cast-iron cube the size of a mountain
  29. Milk and honey. Spoiled milk. Rotten honey.
  30. Propaganda pamphlets, pro-demon, anti-human, nihilistic
  31. Duelling hurricanes, come in pairs that fight each other
  32. Gemstones, sapphires, rubies, emeralds, diamonds
  33. Tuesday
  34. Hungry Fog, it digests people if it fully envelopes them
  35. Paranoia (no effect)
  36. Fire
  37. Transdimensional Rifts
  38. False Birds
  39. Dandruff
  40. Lensing Clouds, when one of them drifts in front of the sun it melts down to the bedrock
  41. Molten Lead, luckily it is only a few, heh, "light showers"
  42. Chemical Spray, defoliating, refoliating (but with demonic plants), or otherwise toxic
  43. Wasps
  44. Paint
  45. Noise, just the sound of clashing gongs, smashing plates and crying babies coming from the sky
  46. Whale Fall, one of the big demons that died in space comes drifting down, making a mess of the local ecology for a while
  47. Fungal Spores
  48. Teeth
  49. Orbital bombardment
  50. The same as yesterday, but twice as bad


The Banished - Anato Finnstark

eclipse - esuthio

Unholy Crusade - Dominik Mayer

Possessions - Max Hay

Jinn Hunter - Moe

Lucius and the Flesh Dragon - Alexandre Chaudret

Enter Paradise - Dominik Mayer

Eternal Bridge - Gabriel Nagypal

Corruption - Palamarchuk Mikhail

Throne of Obsidian - Max Hay

Little Bastard - Artur Mukhametov

Grime - Vladimir Matyukhin

Sunday, July 24, 2022

Nameless Legends of GLOG

This is a work in progress. Any part of a class marked with a ? is currently undecided. Any text after // is a comment, left for your consideration. Many classes are missing the higher level abilities. Several classes are missing quite a lot of necessary parts, and will be finished as needed.

The Fire Thief - Anato Finnstark

Recommended Rules

These are the rules I use. They work pretty well, but are tuned to my specific table. Hence, they are not The Rules, just recommended.
  • Spwack's Baseline GLOG Ruleset, using "Tragic" Death and Dismemberment
  • Shuffle the class list, and take a few off the top. Players then choose their class from this smaller selection
  • Players should not go through the entire list to choose a class, but if they have a specific concept in mind, they can search for the one that fits best
  • All players should roll their stats before choosing classes. Martial Classes suffer from having poor stats, which balances out Caster Classes suffering from Mishaps and Dooms
  • If needed, swap two stats
  • Characters start with three random items and three rations. If they are mostly dungeoncrawling, start with three torches. If they are mostly hexcrawling, start with a full waterskin

Level Up

  • Level 2: Survive an interesting session
  • Level 3: Complete a dungeon, quest, or journey
  • Level 4: Complete a Dungeon, a Quest, and a Journey


  • All multiclassing must make sense and have some kind of narrative backing, rather than a custom "build"
  • Does not provide the starting gear of that class, nor any of the spells
  • Any reference to "level" in a class refers only to levels in that particular class
  • If you have all 4 levels and want to swap one out, you can do so when you would normally level up
  • Due to the stronger than normal abilities of each class, multiclassing can create some unusually powerful characters. This is somewhat balanced by the very strong D templates, but should be kept in mind


  • GLOG Magic Dice Primer
  • MD are not expended through normal spellcasting, each spell accrues 1 Chaos Dice that lasts until the next dawn
  • [invest] duration, MD cannot be used until the spell ends, used for permanent effects
  • [X], the [sum] of the spell is fixed no matter how much MD are used (even zero), still roll CD
  • If you roll triples and have multiple classes with Dooms, all apply at the same time
  • If you cast a spell as a cantrip, using 0 MD, you don't gain a CD

Optional Rules

  • Martial classes get +2 to two relevant stats at first level
  • Level up at the end of any session when you have done new, interesting and dangerous things. As you reach higher levels, things that were once interesting and dangerous are probably less so
  • If all of your stats are below 10 or are otherwise terrible, you can choose to reroll all stats (opt: describe how that character died a horrible death). If you keep the bad rolls, you may be eligible for a Unique Secret Reward
  • For a table with N players, take N+1 classes for the smaller set. Whichever class isn't taken becomes the villain of the first adventure
  • Certain very specific classes are a shuffle of another. For instance, the Spy class is an Assassin that gets template C at first level, then ABD
  • Incredibly fancy magic robes grant +1 MD, but give disadvantage on all rolls while in a melee

Wednesday, March 30, 2022


Sun Pillar - Exellero

Things to Kill
  • It's In The Name: Slay a dragon
  • David: Kill a giant using a sling
  • Taste of your Own Medicine: Turn a basilisk, a cockatrice or a medusa into stone
  • Armaments 2:9-21: Kill a monster with a holy weapon
  • That Still Only Counts As One: Kill a large monster by yourself
  • Diplomancy: Turn an enemy over to your side and have them kill their former ally
  • Who You Gonna Call?: Kill a supernatural creature or spirit
  • Go For The Hat!: Kill a wizard
  • Vengeance!: Kill an enemy that has previously slain a character
  • Blitz: Kill a boss in a single round
  • If It Bleeds: Kill a bonafide god or major demon
  • If Only There Was Another Way!: Kill another character while mind-control is involved
  • Murderer: Kill another character

Things to Eat
  • The Other White Meat: Eat a sentient enemy
  • The Other Other White Meat: Eat a friend
  • Gormandiser: Cook a delightful meal out of a dead monster while in a dungeon
  • Not Very Efficient: Eat one of your own body parts
  • Priorities: Choose food over treasure
  • Tingling Sensation: Eat a magic item
  • Thirst Quencher: Drink three potions at the same time
  • A Bit Gritty: Consume an enemy made of bone, stone or glass

Things to Do
  • Also In The Name: Clear an entire dungeon
  • Yes Man: Ally with two opposing factions
  • False Dawn: Set off a colossal explosion
  • Knightly: Rescue royalty from certain death
  • Social Climber: Become a member of the nobility (Heavy Is The Head Bonus, reach royal status)
  • Sticky Fingers: Pull off any plan or scheme that involves glue
  • When All You Have is a Torch: Solve a problem using arson
  • "Are we the baddies?": Commit a war crime
  • We're on a Mission From God: Begin a divinely ordained quest
  • Objection!: Win a legal case
  • Never Leave Home Without It: Discover three uses for alcohol
  • Be The Change: Lead a revolution
  • Default, the Two Greatest Words: Play a human swordsman
  • Discretion Is The Better Part Of Valour: Run Away

Stuff to Acquire
  • Absolute Comfort: Wear custom-made armour
  • Fine Print: Make a deal with a devil
  • X Marks the Spot: Uncover treasure marked on a map
  • Trial and Error: Use an unidentified magic item
  • "Alas, Poor [name here]!": Carry the skull of an ally
  • Heisenberg: Mass-produce a potion
  • Landlord: Own a building
  • The 1%: Run a business
  • Family First: Start a cult
  • Same Hat!: The whole party are members of the same larger organisation
  • Chiselled Jawline: Have a statue raised in your image
  • Humming Along: Have a song dedicated to you
  • Unlimited POWER: Learn a legendary spell, and cast it immediately
  • The Friends We Made Along The Way: Create a horrible monstrous creature out of parts (Metaphorical Bonus, using parts of former allies)

Places to Go
  • Home Sweet Home: Return to the family home of a character
  • Broadening the Mind: Reach another continent
  • Beach Holiday!: Get shipwrecked
  • I Can See My House From Here: Be the first to reach the summit of the largest mountain
  • One Small Step: Go to space
  • Not in Kansas Anymore: Travel beyond this realm
  • Wibbly Wobbly, Timey Wimey: Travel backwards or forwards in time
  • Hey There Hot Stuff: Jump into an active volcano or other location containing molten rock
  • Under The Sea: Reach the bottom of the middle of an ocean
  • The Pointy Bit: Travel to the North or South Pole
  • Can You Imagine If We Walked All This Way?: Use a fast-travel system
  • Drums in the Deep: Reach the lowest floor of a megadungeon
  • Can Anyone Smell Burning?: Travel to Hell

Things to Deal With
  • The Flesh: Gain five mutations, or break the party record for most mutations
  • Radioactive Soul: Gain five curses, or break the party record for most curses
  • Canary: Cause the death of three henchmen, or break the party record for dead henchmen
  • Whoops!: Destroy an item necessary for a quest
  • She Turned Me Into A Newt: Experience a polymorph
  • Naked and Alone: Find yourself in a situation without armour, weapons or allies
  • 'Tis But a Scratch: Suffer a major injury and survive
  • A Farewell To Arms: Willingly remove a limb
  • We Spared No Expense: Go broke
  • Born Under A Lucky Star: Survive the death of your whole party
  • That's Probably Fine: Release an ancient unspeakable evil
  • Not Today: Save the entire party from certain death by yourself
  • And Stay Out!: Defend a location against a marauding horde
  • "What seems to be the officer problem?": Get arrested
  • Well, It Could Be Worse: The entire party is permanently charmed or mind-controlled

Ways To Die
  • Ozymandias: Have a maximum level character die
  • Trapfinder General: Die to a trap
  • You Shall Not Pass: Sacrifice yourself, so that the rest of your party may escape
  • I Volunteer As Tribute: Instead of a random party member dying, offer yourself
  • Blue! No, Yello-AUUUUUUUUGH: Die from a puzzle
  • Gobbed On: Die from a standard enemy, typically a goblin
  • Ignominious: Die from rats, starvation, or disease
  • Vertigo: Die from falling from a great height
  • Glug Glug Glug: Die from drowning (Thallasophobia Bonus, while grappled or trapped)
  • That's Gotta Sting: Die from your own weapon
  • Anticlimax: Die during the final showdown with your nemesis
  • Don't Feed The Wildlife: Get eaten alive
  • For The Greater Good: Get sacrificed as part of a vile ritual
  • Speedrun: Die during character creation
  • JENKINS: Lead the charge directly into a TPK
  • Half-Open Casket?: Die in a way that completely destroys your body
  • Chip Off the Ol' Block: Suffer the same fate as another character earlier on
  • Third Time's The Charm: Have two characters die from the same thing
  • A Bit Of Class: Get assassinated
  • Depart This Vale Of Tears: Die of old age
  • The Black Wind Howls: Correctly predict an ally's death
  • Unfinished Business: Die, and come back as a ghost
  • Rude Awakening: Get resurrected
  • Either Die a Hero: Become an NPC villain
  • Watch And Learn, Kids: Have a character die after bringing them out of retirement
  • I Have No Mouth: Make your character completely unplayable, without dying
  • Friends In Low Places: Die, and then go to Hell
  • Can I Have a New Player?: Get caught cheating, and have your character die because of it
  • The Void: Don't just get killed, get obliterated, body and soul. (Method Actor Bonus, ceremonially destroy the character sheet)

Saturday, February 19, 2022

One Million Swords

Victory is not achieved by skill (attack bonuses) or luck (high dice rolls). Each combatant takes turns bidding things they are willing to sacrifice to help them achieve victory. Combat ends when one side surrenders, or when they risk their life in pursuit of victory, and fail.

  1. Whoever says "I attack!" first, goes first.
  2. They bid what resources they are staking on their victory. They can bid innate qualities or training, relevant equipment, situational advantages, and things they are willing to sacrifice. The initial bid can't be changed after this step.
  3. Their opponent must meet or exceed that bid with their own resources (qualities, equipment, advantages, sacrifices). If they don't, can't, or won't, they automatically lose the fight and are at the mercy of their foe. If they vastly exceed the original bid, nothing additional happens.
  4. Flip a coin to determine who triumphs right now. Everything the loser bid is now forfeit. Qualities no longer apply in this battle, equipment is damaged or dropped, advantages have been used up, and anything they were willing to sacrifice is in the hands of their opponent. Whatever the case, anything forfeit can no longer be bid in this battle.
  5. If a combatant wishes to flee the fight, go to Not Combat.
  6. Continue from 2, alternate who bids first each round.

  • If you are defending and respond with "I'm willing to die" that will always match whatever bid was thrown at you. If you bid "I'm willing to die" while attacking, it is serious bid, but does not automatically win.
  • You can only bid "I'm willing to cheat" if there are rules of honour in play. Afterwards, you have cheated and kicked sand in their eyes (or whatever), and you can not bid it again.
  • If you have a matching innate quality, it can make a minor situational advantage into a much stronger bid. This doesn't risk the quality
  • If you bid a single piece of armour, or a mild injury, or another tiny scrap, it won't give any benefit at all.
  • If you have a strong reason for wanting to fight, like vengeance or righteousness, good for you. It won't help you on it's own. Are you willing to die in order to accomplish it? Bid that instead
  • If you bid "My blade is poisoned" then you are showing your opponent to scare them, force them into a bad position. Whether you have bid it or not, if you cut them, they are poisoned.
  • Whether the bid is met should be adjudicated by the whole table, figuring out what each resource and advantage is "worth" in that moment. Resolve any confusing wording, and work out what is actually at stake. Once an assessment is made, stick to it for future rounds and battles.

  • If you forfeit "I've got a sword made of fire" it means you have dropped the sword, at the very least. However, you don't always have to bid the sword in order to use special powers.
  • If you forfeit "I've got a bunch of hirelings surrounding a single opponent" then they are scattered and divided (for now).
  • If you forfeit "I'm fighting a one-armed opponent", that injury no longer applies for this battle
  • If you forfeit "I'm willing to be injured" you suffer the injury. Your opponent can bid "My opponent is injured" next round, it's usually worth more than your original sacrifice
  • If you forfeit "I'm willing to die" it means your opponent can choose to just chop your head off right now.
  • If you forfeit "I'm a master swordsman" it means your training has been overcome, for this battle at least.
  • If you forfeit "I'm willing to sacrifice my status as a master swordsman", ouch...

Combat Example
Fargus and his hirelings, Bargus, Kargus, and Jim, are hidden in the dark by the side of a road. They leap out at a passing traveller, an old man wearing a cloak. They attack! Fargus bids: surprise ambush at night, outnumbered four to one, using the ability of my magic sword to flash confusing beams of light. A very solid bid indeed, the traveller will have to put up quite a lot to match it.

The passing traveller flips back his cloak, revealing a jet-black sword, and answers that bid with: "I'm a master swordsman". Oh shit.

The coin is flipped.

Heads (Fargus succeeds): The traveller can no longer use his master swordsman trait for the rest of combat, he has been outmanoeuvred. Fargus can't use the ambush advantage, since the attack is no longer a surprise

Tails (Fargus fails): The hirelings are scattered, for now, he can no longer bid the magic light beams.

Not Combat
If someone is trying to do something, and someone else wishes to prevent them, bid and flip the same as combat. The Doer bids first. If they win the flip, they achieve it.

For everything else, just discuss the situation politely amongst yourselves. Flip a coin if you really need to break a tie. Lots of things that are nearly impossible without tools, training and/or assistance are really easy once you've got them.

If you want to personify the mountain being climbed as an opponent, and start bidding back and forth using the combat routine, be my guest. You don't have to though.

Character Creation
Start with a Three Word Sword, two random things, one nice thing of your choice, and no food.
You are Very Fast/Strong/Wise/Weird (or other), and are not a master swordsman (yet).

To wield two blades at once is to court madness and calamity. That said, it's really easy to swap between swords mid-combat. It's notoriously easy to carry multiple swords, ten is barely a burden. People have remarked upon this. It's just a thing.

Any sword with an apostrophe or other punctuation in it's name is cursed. Also just a thing. "Curses" aren't usually straight maledictions, just odd restrictions and risky potentials. They can even have incredibly strong powers, seemingly without any drawback... be very careful of these ones.

All swords have secret powers, hidden capabilities, strange agendas and bizarre histories. All of them, especially the cursed ones.

How did you get your first sword?
  1. Stumbled upon in a field
  2. Family heirloom
  3. Bought at great cost
  4. Stole
  5. Looted from corpse
  6. Stabbed with it and left to die
  7. Gifted by liege
  8. Gambling
  9. In a dream
  10. Fell from the sky
  11. Awarded for bravery
  12. Showed up when you needed it

A few swords
  1. WHAT SHARP TEETH - Hydra Blade, every time a blade is shattered, two more grow in it's place
  2. QUEEN OF HARMS - Longsword of Attacking Twice in a Round
  3. WING LINE REVERIE - Can slash beyond the tip of the sword. Slashes reach further when the bearer is sturdily stood, hearty, breathing evenly and supremely focused. No maximum known distance, shortbow range has been reliably hit by masters
  4. OF NATURAL CAUSES - Constantly burns like a carefully stoked oven. If the bearer is angry, it flares up
  5. GLASS SICKLE FIELD - Absorbs spells, wounding a mage causes their magic to be sucked out rapidly
  6. WANDER EVER MORE - Any lightning bolts that strike from here to the horizon is redirected through the blade. Frightening to use, but safe for the bearer so long as they keep a very firm grip. Strongly magnetises any metal struck
  7. WE WILL SEE - Can be swallowed without harm and regurgitated with great force
  8. PARALLAX SOUL MANTLE - Ages things instead of cutting, 10 years per wound
  9. ONE THREE TEN - Can be trained to do tricks with the same ability as a loyal dog
  10. SNAPPED ANCHOR CHAIN - Wounds inflicted by this sword cannot be healed, whether naturally or through divine magic, until the blade has been broken
  11. OUT OF SORTS - Can be flown like a broom
  12. RESIDE IN PIECES - Any living flesh cut remains alive, and can be reattached without too much hassle
  13. STRENGTH TEN MEN - When swung, leaves a solid afterimage of itself behind for a moment, which then slashes forward as well to catch up to the original
  14. APOLOGIES FOR INCONVENIENCE - Absorbs ambient light. When struck, it releases all absorbed light in a bright flash
  15. VAST TRIGRAM QUILL - Has a random effect each time it draws blood
  16. CLEAN CANDLE FLAME - Can change in size from a dagger to a massive claymore that flexes under it's own weight
  17. WATER WILLOW WAND - Cannot be dirtied or tarnished in any way
  18. CORPSE TO QUEST - Points towards the last being it injured
  19. SURGING IRON HEART - While the bearer is shouting their defiance, renders them violently immune to one magical effect (is gravity a magical effect?)
  20. NINE TON MALLET - Weight of blade and force of blows is multiplied by the number of rings slotted onto blade
  21. POX HOUSES BLEED - Melts through non-magical blades
  22. DEEP HOUND SONGS - When the pommel is twisted, the blade breaks into a cloud of spinning particles. The particles have no chance against armour, but shred bare flesh like acid. When the pommel is twisted back, the blade reforms, so long as all the particles can reach the hilt
  23. MURDER MOST FOUL - The first time each day it injures a foe causes an explosion of twisted flesh, enough to permanently mutilate if not kill outright. Resets at midnight
  24. RELIC OF JUPITER - Wounded foes bleed great gouts of multi-coloured, slightly toxic smoke. You are immune, and anyone that breaths in the smoke glows to your eyes
  25. HER STOLEN SMILE - When you take a firm fighting stance, you create an illusion of yourself in that position. You also turn invisible for 4 seconds, -1 for each limb moved
  26. RED IN DEED - Any time you wound an opponent, you can have them bleed an object of your choice made of blood. Must fit through the wound without making the injury worse
  27. DEAF AND BLIND - Any object you touch with the blade, that isn't being firmly held by someone else, teleports into your pockets or backpack
  28. DEAD SHALL RUN - You can push and pull anything dead like a giant with a broom is sweeping them
  29. DAWNING HORROR VISION - You can mark an opponent for death. The sword vanishes, reappearing hanging over their head. Any time they are at risk of dying, the sword falls
  30. YON LATELY LIE - Any fluid poured into the pommel flows onto the edges of the blade. Any fluid
  31. RUSTY OLD THEURGE - The round after touching the blade to a religious or culturally significant artefact, the artefact smokes for a bit, then explodes like a bomb. Does the same thing to religious or culturally significant people, like the pope, or a king
  32. MOON DAY HASTE - Exists only in the mind of the bearer. Appears only when they focus on its existence, popping into reality to parry a blow or stab a foe, then vanishing again
  33. GRIM MOUNTAIN CARVE - Can be set loose to attack foes. Difficult to re-capture unless it has killed at least once
  34. CRIMSON VERTEBRATE TIDE - If this blade cannot overcome the defence of a foe, it will twist and mutate in order to do so
  35. BLOOM CLOUD FATE - Each time the blade strikes it also absorbs a random disease, curse, or sin from the target. Looks gradually more menacing over time. Should it be broken, all the malice stored within will be released
  36. FLOATING ACOLYTE WHIP - Allows the bearer to double jump, run on walls and backflip at any moment
  37. I SEE YOU - Vibrates with unwholesome frequencies and nauseating tones. If a weapon is used to parry a blow from this blade, the target feels like their funny bone has been whacked, and any metal armour it hits makes the flesh underneath feel like it is squirming painlessly apart
  38. CROOKED CRYPT GATHERING - When a target is attacked using this blade, if there is literally any other way they could have been injured or hurt, they will attribute it to that instead
  39. SHADOW WATER FAR - Able to slice through sounds, preventing speech or the noise of footsteps. Most kinds of spell-casting are majorly impeded
  40. CROSS GOLDEN FIELDS - Fluids slashed will remain parted for a while, like cutting through a forest using a machete
  41. CLOUDS OF TWILIGHT - Always gleams as though sunlight falls upon it. It's real sunlight, plants grow, vampires burn
  42. LONG LOST MORALS - Looks to be about the size of a large dagger, but surrounded by a much larger, invisible sword
  43. BELOVED OF WINE - When pointed at a creature you intend to kill, it pulses with the creature's heartbeat. Works through stone, but not lead
  44. YES VILE THOUGHT - Comes with a matching winged gremlin-imp. Mostly obedient, especially if asked to do fun things. If the gremlin is killed, a new one will form soon
  45. IRON LIFE FOREST - Can extract unique abilities and martial prowess from slain foes
  46. MARBLE GRIT VALE - Within 7 seconds of killing something, you can plunge in the sword and pull out the soul. Can fire the soul in a screaming bolt, but other uses for souls can likely be found
  47. GRATUITOUS EXPENSE ACCOUNT - Wounds it strikes are difficult to staunch and never fully heal

A few cursed swords
  1. BLUE FLESH'S WEAK - Regrows severed limbs with lizard flesh and lizard thoughts
  2. INFINITY'S LEGENDARY COST - Doubles in length every time it kills something
  3. REALLY WASN'T INVOLVED - Enhances the bearers speed while they are a running away
  4. DON'T EVEN TRY- Anything killed is stricken from existence over the next minute
  5. THOU'ST ALSO FORSAKEN - Anything you kill goes to Hell or Heaven, your choice. Choose wisely
  6. IT'S A SHIELD - Improbably wide and blunt, great at parrying and not much else
  7. LUCK O' DRAW - Eats other swords, if they are magical it mirrors the ability. Can only contain one ability at a time. Can only eat swords in combat if they are broken. Will gradually devour any swords it is left in storage with
  8. USE MARTYR'S BLADE - Anything that kills you dies horribly
  9. CUT GORD'S KNOT - Always slices through any ropes nearby
  10. ISN'T AIN'T WORST'ST - Incredibly cursed. Anything touching it, even through armour or bundled in fabric, contracts a random curse. Only inflicts one curse per person
  11. DREAM BEAST'S MARK - Falls through sheaths, and any other material, unless it is wet with fresh blood. Will fall through the earth if you drop it dry
  12. NE'ER DO WRONG - Becomes increasingly vicious and deadly day by day as the bearer starves. Resets if its wielder eats anything
  13. FINAL O'CLOCK TASTE - Drains the blood of its victims, healing the bearer. Anyone carrying it can't heal any other way
  14. 'TWIXT FAIR ROADS - Incapable of harming the innocent, underserving, or unaware
  15. FOUL WHICH'LL BREW - Cuts through armour like a cold knife through cold butter, can't harm flesh
  16. BOLDLY CAP'N SPEAKS - The bearer will never reach any place they are actively searching for
  17. HUNDREDS'TH CUT FALL - After dealing 999 wounds, the 1000th is instantly lethal
  18. SOFT SOMBER'S TONE - If the bearer is attacked while asleep, they will fight very effectively without waking. Otherwise, sharp and nimble as a club
  19. A'NOTHER GO AT - Skill with this blade increases with drunkenness. Sober fighters will be in danger of hurting themselves
  20. HEART'S PERFECT VIEW - Gains a magical power when it touches the beating heart of the current bearer
  21. SLAUGHTER/SLAY/SMITE - Contains a demon. Capable of granting martial prowess in exchange for souls or control over the bearer. If the sword is broken, the demon is freed
  22. HOLY HOLY HOLY! - Transmutes the bearers blood into burning light and blasts it towards struck foes
  23. GOT A KNIFE? - Any enemy slain rises a few minutes later as a ravenous spectre
  24. PURE HONEY-LOST - Traps the soul of slain foes permanently, dragging the ghosts along behind the bearer
  25. "TRUE THE LAST" - Binds the bearers soul into the pommel, rendering their body immune to many spells and magical effects
  26. PERISH NOT, FOREVER - Anything the blade would kill suffers a Fate Worse Then Death instead
  27. FIGHTER'S GONNA FIGHT - Constantly leaks filth, small insects, assorted miasma and mysterious fluids
  28. UPROOT MOUNTAIN'S BONES - Shockingly effective at sneak attacks and backstabs, while the bearers hand can be seen it seems to stop existing
  29. WATCH CLOSELY M'BOY - Marks the bearer as a just and goodly knight, incapable of dishonour or dishonesty
  30. CLOUD SWEEPS O'ER - Bearer is incapable of losing duels. Also incapable of ending duels in any way other than absolute victory
  31. DISTANT STAR'S LIGHT - Logarithmic beam attack, gets stronger the longer it is held still (1 round = 1 stab, 10 rounds = 2 stabs, 100 rounds = 3 stabs). Fires whenever moved
  32. BEHOLD BLACK'EST HAND - Grants an instant of martial expertise in exchange for rotting the flesh and soul a bit more, staining the hand of the bearer
  33. JUST AS PLANNED... - Instead of wounding a foe, they must take an action of your choosing
  34. FEED MORE [GORE] - While drawn, any wound taken nearby to this blade is unnaturally severe. Includes the bearer and allies in the effect
  35. I /NEED/ IT - Anyone who sees the blade drawn desperately wishes to possess it
  36. RILED MONSTER WITH'IN - Any organic material touching the hilt rapidly turns to stone
  37. REDEMPTION'S ALWAYS CHEAP - Bends reality to make sure it always wounds the target. Often puts the bearer in dangerous situations to do so
  38. NIGHT'S STILL YOUNG - Can be used to draw down falling stars. The result varies wildly, from a tiny pebble up to a devastating impact
  39. FOLLY OF "YOUTH" - While held in a two-handed grip, each blow that lands ages the bearer 1 year and brings down the crushing weight of time
  40. HOLD'S ME CLOSER - Every injury dealt is twice as severe, and every injury received by the bearer twice as severe. A certain ritual performed upon this blade can make all injuries up to four times as brutal
  41. THAT'S ALL, FOLKS - Anyone that would be killed by this, is instead whisked away under mysterious circumstances. They may return at a later date, changed in bizarre ways, or apparently not changed at all...

A few very rare swords
  1. THE FIRST SWORD - Anything it cuts, stays cut
  2. NOT A SWORD - A paradox. Looking at it or thinking about it causes madness and hastens the apocalypse
  3. GRIM REAPER'S SCYTHE - Kills everything it touches, even the hilt
  4. SIX SIX SIX - ???
  5. ARISE; DARKLING STAR - If used to kill an angel, a demon, and a man, over the next eight days all oceans and lakes visible to the sun are boiled away

They say...
  • They say The First Swordsman killed God.
  • They say The First Swordsman did no such thing, just snuck into God's Lair and stole It's Heart.
  • They say The First Swordsman snuck into God's Lair and stole all the gold and gems in the firmament.
  • They say the First Swordsman snuck into God's Lair and stole It's Heart, It's Lungs, Hair, Teeth, Eyes, Eyebrows, Eyelashes, broke It's Bones and stole those too, all the Weird Organs and Pulsing Meats. Stole it all. God didn't even wake up.
  • They say The First Swordsman made One Million Swords out of it all.
  • They say it's wrong to call them The First Swordsman. Or First Swordswoman, for that matter. I agree, I call them "The First Sworder". Because that's what they did. Fight with swords. Make swords. Buy and sell swords. Steal swords. Break swords. Swords swords swords. Sword of a lot, really.
  • They say The First Sworder can always be found at a pub on the second Friday of every month at sundown. They are always very specific about the time and date, but never about which pub in particular.
  • They say The First Sworder is scrupulously honest. If you swear an oath and end it with "and may The First Sworder strike me down if I lie", and then break that oath, you'll definitely get stabbed.
  • They say The First Sworder is actually what is left of God after they got Their everything stolen.
  • They say The First Sworder is watching you right now, no, don't look! You'll never spot them.
  • They say The First Sworder has never lost their temper, not even once.
  • They say The First Sworder has lost their temper exactly once, which is what happened to Atlantis.
  • They say The First Sworder cut the peak off the tallest mountain in the world. Just for fun.
  • They say The First Sworder can cut a falling strand of hair into four exact pieces. Lengthways.
  • They say The First Sworder has a favourite sword that is so ow so sharp you can ow, that really hurts cut yourself just by thinking about it.
  • They say The First Sworder can end any sentence just

As They Must - Twenty Three Swords-ish
Whose Measure God Could Not Take - The Name is not The Point
Unlawful Games - d100+ Magic Swords
Sundered Shillings - God's Expected Mercy: Blades
Everything's - Perchance Generator
Technical Grimoire - Tempered Legacy
Cyber Jazz Fusion - Swords of Fine Culture
Goblin Punch - Weird Swords and Not Swords
Mad Queen's Court - False Witch